A walk in the garden

Yesterday was my birthday. Went to Denny’s for my free breakfast by myself. Had a nice meal, good coffee. Actually, really good coffee. Enjoyed myself despite the circumstances of my life. Considered my options for the day and had the idea to get outside with nature for awhile. So, I went to Mounts Botanical Gardens, a little gem of a place, where butterflies like to roam. I walked and sat and took pictures that I might use in some artwork.

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It was a nice morning, warm and getting humid but that’s Florida. The air was fragrant with the scent of many flowers that, as yet, I do not know the names of.  I prayed for peace. I prayed for the way through my difficulties. I prayed for help. And then I splurged and bought myself a $4 plant to bring me some hope, a Blackberry Lily. Someone told me it gets orange flowers with spots on them. My mother’s favorite color. So maybe she and my sister are helping behind the scenes. I know from where most of my help comes from.

My inner self knows that I will overcome all of the obstacles that have been thrown in my path. Rest assured I will land on my feet. The universe always provides and of course I can fall back on cliché, reminding myself that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I should be able to bench a semi by now.

All I want is to be myself and be appreciated for what I do. I am weary of being ignored. I am worthy of positive attention paid to my work. I can write and I can draw. So, perhaps someone out there will read this and give me the opportunity to be of service. I would like to freelance in art or writing.

After the gardens I met my Dad and his girlfriend for lunch at the chinese buffet. Delish as usual and a nice birthday bag with a bag in it. The perfect purse, just at the right time when the one I was using was falling apart. It gave me hope for a better life and reassured me that the universe has heard my request and is bringing it to me right now.

Then I went to work at the restaurant. I am waitressing right now. I have an MA in Anthropology but have had to work in service industry jobs to stay afloat. Coming to Florida just made it an extra challenge. I love my Dad more than anyone on the planet. I do not regret my decision to come here. So, I had a nice day up until I went to work. It would have been a nicer evening if my fellow coworkers had one shred of a clue how their behavior effected others. I consoled myself with a nice piece of banana dream cake and for the sake of my own inner peace, let it go.

I wish all of you peace and joy in life.

Ellen

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